Whilst wandering around the local Zavvi during their administration/closure sales, I spotted a bargain: Hitchcock 14 Disc Box Set. The box contains the following movies:

1. Saboteur
2. Shadow Of A Doubt
3. Rope
4. Rear Window
5. The Trouble With Harry
6. The Man Who Knew Too Much
7. Vertigo
8. Psycho
9. The Birds
10. Marnie
11. Torn Curtain
12. Topaz
13. Frenzy
14. Family Plot

All discs have extras in the form of behind the scenes interviews with any actors who are still alive, Hitchcock’s daughter, etc. Great value. Anyway, me and The Missus decided we’d watch them in chronological order (as listed above). We’re only three movies in and already we’re loving it.

Saboteur & Shadow Of A Doubt are both black and white movies, and both amazingly old in every way (which caused us to giggle more than a little bit, sorry). The next movie we watched was Rope. From the minute it started, we could tell things had stepped up a little. Apart from being in “glorious technicolor”, everything was just so much more… Hitchcock. The classic Hitchcock tension was there; the acting was worlds apart from the previous movies; the music wasn’t totally 40’s, etc. Each scene was one long take, which would last around ten minutes, as that was the average length of film in the camera. I wonder how many modern actors could last that long without fluffing their lines. We were both totally gripped and thought it to be most excellent (and, like, totally bodacious, dude).

It soon struck me that I’d love to have the money to fund a remake. After a bit of thought, here is the cast I’m suggesting:

Brandon Shaw (originally John Dall)

Remake: Richard E. Grant.

Phillip Morgan (originally Farley Granger)

Remake: Paul McGann.

Rupert Cadell (originally James Stewart)

Remake: Richard Griffiths.

The victim’s father (originally Cedric Hardwicke)

Remake: Michael Caine.

The victim’s aunt (originally Constance Collier)

Remake: Maggie Smith.

Janet Walker (originally Joan Chandler)

Remake: Sienna Miller.

Kenneth Lawrence (originally Douglas Dick)

Remake: Jude Law.

Mrs. Wilson (originally Edith Evanson)

Remake: Mrs. Doyle.

Obviously, the main three characters were all in Withnail & I, which is one of my all–time favourite movies. I can just see too many similarities in the roles; for anyone else to play the parts doesn’t make sense. And the intro scene where they’re we see Brandon and Phillip offing the victim and stuffing him in the cabinet? Nah, we can open the movie as they’re closing the lid. Hitchcock should never have added that bit. Much more suspense without it.

Okay, so… who wants to fund it?